my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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