I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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