yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I love you.
Bad choice
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
