I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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