I wannas sexs uuuuu
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
