In the future we'll all be gay
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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