Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
