Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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