There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
