i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
