We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
