Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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