If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
