Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
