I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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