I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
