Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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