she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Randomize
