break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize