just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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