Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im calling her cock vulture from now on
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
