hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
