we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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