Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
