Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize