He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
