i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
