he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize