He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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