He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
and you fell through a lawn chair
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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