i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
organizing the empties. That sober.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
