My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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