i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
