Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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