i may or may not be watching the land before time
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize