So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
