I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
