I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
