Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
