Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
