you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
