READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
