We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
