Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
