the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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