i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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