didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
