I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Randomize
