so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
