you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
