No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
