I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just had sex bonerless
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i've created a new STD.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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