I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
