2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
