Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
