So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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