i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There r osticjed everywhere
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
