we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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