hotel room ftw
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
