he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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