I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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