I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
